How to Handle an Emotionally Charged Situation in the Workplace

You’ve been there. You’re in the bread aisle at the grocery store, tactfully navigating your cart around a screaming, red-faced toddler and his weary parent.

This situation is emotionally charged. And while we anticipate raw, unbridled emotions from toddlers, we do not expect emotional displays from adults. Unfortunately, however, emotions sometimes get the better of grown-ups, too.

Such incidents may occur rapidly — especially in high-pressure work settings. Stress is the common denominator that leads to frazzled emotions and short tempers. Seemingly minor, irrelevant issues trigger a domino effect, setting off a series of workplace meltdowns.

When things get emotionally charged in the workplace, it’s essential to de-escalate the situation as quickly and calmly as possible.

Here are three steps for handling the following emotionally charged situation at work.

Know . . .

The Cues

People handle their emotions differently, so you must learn to read the “cues” of those around you. Doing so will help you avoid emotional confrontations or respond more appropriately in escalated circumstances. You don’t have to be a mind reader: just be aware. Pay special attention to each coworker’s vocal tone and body language. Simply being unaware might catapult you into an emotionally charged battle.

Yourself

Practicing emotional intelligence indicates maturity. And being emotionally mature enables you to handle emotionally charged situations. Knowing yourself and how you respond under stress helps determine how your actions and words affect others. When you feel yourself becoming irritated, pause. Take a deep breath. Step back and ask yourself some honest questions:

• Am I misreading this situation?

• What are my body language and tone of voice communicating?

• Can I control the circumstances?

• What aspects of this situation can I control?

• Will saying what I feel make things better?

• Are my words helpful, or am I trying to prove a point?

Logical, honest self-reflection counterbalances highly emotional situations.

It’s Not About You

When interacting with someone on the verge (or in the midst) of a meltdown, it’s important to remember one thing. It’s probably not about you.

Your coworker is probably reacting to something bigger than what’s happening right in front of them, so don’t take it personally.

Choose . . .

Your Attitude

Others’ behavior is outside your control. But you can control your own actions. For example, choosing to remain calm adjusts your attitude, and your attitude then modulates your body language and tone of voice.

Your Words

Choose your words wisely. T.H.I.N.K before you speak. This acrostic will help you remember the key aspects of good communication:

• True

• Helpful

• Inspiring

• Necessary

• Kind

Do . . .

Practice Empathy

Genuine empathy is one of the best ways to deflate high emotions. People respond well to sincere compassion. So instead of adopting your coworkers’ frustrations, show them you hear and understand their perspective. Use phrases like, “I’m sorry that happened to you,” or, “I hear you. Can I help?”

Practice Active Listening

One way to show empathy is to practice active listening. Allow others to finish their thoughts before you speak, and then paraphrase their words back to them to ensure you understand. “So, what I’m hearing you say is. . . .” Maintain eye contact and avoid dismissive body language. When others realize you value their input, they are more likely to reason with you instead of reacting negatively.

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